Ignorant People Rant.

I had a very interesting day at work today...and thought I'd share it with you.

Ya know those mornings when you wake up and you just KNOW it's going to be a horrible day? That was today. On Mondays, tellers have to be at work by 7:30 to get started on weekend night deposits whereas every other day we don't have to be there until 8am. But when I'm cozy, warm, and comfortably asleep in my bed - I seem to forget that it's Monday. My alarm was set for 6:30am and I apparently hit the snooze until 7:10am...leaving me with 20 minutes to get ready. I jumped up and hopped into the shower and quickly shampooed and conditioned my hair - jumped out - grabbed a diet coke and plugged in the blowdryer. I was blowdrying my hair with one hand and popping open that diet coke with the other...when diet coke shot everywhere in the bathroom - including onto me. I had already dressed for work. I was so aggravated but I shrugged it off and kept going. Then my blowdryer cord knocked my hairbrush off the counter right onto my 3rd toe. OUCH...I was REALLY aggravated at this point. So I re-dressed and grabbed another diet coke (didn't drink the first one...don't worry!) and ran out the door. I actually made it there by 7:30 - don't even try to tell me you aren't impressed.

We had probably been open and working for about an hour when Irene (name changed to protect the ignorant) came in. (Italics are UNFORTUNATELY my thoughts and not my actual words.)

Irene threw her check and an ID on the counter and stood there.

Me: Hello. Would you like to cash this? Jerk.
Irene wanna-be: Mmmhmm.
Me: Alrighty then. Jerk.

As I examined the license, it didn't take long to realize from the picture that this was NOT Irene. The check was made out to Irene. The license said Irene. But this was not Irene. No way Jose. I'm not getting in trouble. But just out of the kindness of my heart - I continued with the process just in case Irene could come back later and this wouldn't have to take so long. So I picked up the check and typed in the account number to make sure there were enough funds to cover this check. She was cashing a $3,500.00 check. This company who wrote the check had $2,000-some odd dollars in the account.

Me: Hold on just one second, ma'am.
Irene wanna-be: Humph.

I walked to our head teller and told her the entire situation...and as I suspected, I could not cash this check if she was indeed not Irene. While she was gone to actually GET Irene, we would call the company and let them know there were insufficient funds so they could fix the problem.

Me: Ma'am we're not going to be able to cash this without Mrs. Irene present since this check is for such a large amount.
Irene wanna-be: SHE'S SITTING RIGHT OVER THERE!! (Irene wanna-be points across the bank to a woman in a chair...not budging.)

Yes, she yelled - in the bank. I look over the corner of the bank and this obese woman is sitting in the chair and does in fact match the Irene on the license. Don't bother getting up to do this yourself, Irene. I'm just supposed to KNOW that you're sitting in the corner over there not saying a word. No problem, Irene. Whatever I can do to serve you.

Me: Okay ma'am. We're going to have to call the company who wrote the check to verify the funds.
Irene wanna-be: I JUST WANT MY MONEY! JUST GIVE ME MY MONEY!
Me: It will only take one second MA'AM. Look lady..enough of your screaming. I am not deaf. I can hear you JUST FINE. No need. But thanks.

I hand the check to the head teller and she walks to another desk to make the call. Irene wanna-be and Actual Lazy Irene follow her. Thank goodness. We finally got the OK to cash the check and the head teller tells her to come back to me and I'll be more than happy to do it. Not exactly MORE THAN HAPPY - but I'll do it if it will get you out of here.

Irene wanna-be: I'M NOT GOING BACK OVER THERE AND DEALING WITH THAT MESS. I'LL GO TO SOMEONE ELSE.

Good riddance. Lazy jerks.

Ten minutes after wonderful Irene & Irene wanna-be left, I had another wonderful customer.

We'll call him Eugene & Eugene's Wife. They stink, very badly. I think it had been a month or so since they had visited a shower. (Eugene's wife actually once sat her purse on a teller's desk and ROACHES came crawling onto the counter...she just swatted them to the floor like it was nothing...and the pregnant teller nearly threw up. Instead of throwing up, she took her shoe off and started smashing them on the counter...but that's an entirely different story....)

Me: Can I help you, sir? While attempting to hold my breath and talk at the same time.
Eugene: I want to check the balance on my account.
Me: Okay, I'll be more than happy to help you with that. Still can't breathe....
Eugene: I think I have 413.00 and some cents in there.
Me: Yes sir, you're exactly right. You have $413.84.
Eugene: HOW DOES SHE KNOW WHAT'S IN MY BANK ACCOUNT?!?!?!
Me: ______ Blank stare. I'm sorry...WHAT? Can't....breathe.....
Eugene: HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!

HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND, SIR? DO I HAVE "YELL AT ME!" WRITTEN ACROSS MY FOREHEAD TODAY?! WHAT IS THE DEAL? DID THE FULL MOON LAST NIGHT BRING OUT ALL PSYCHOS?!

Me: How does WHO know what's in your bank account?
Eugene: MY SISTER! HOW DOES SHE KNOW WHAT'S IN MY ACCOUNT?!
Me: I'm not sure, sir. Could she have seen your bank statement?
Eugene: NO! SHE DOESN'T LIVE ANYWHERE AROUND HERE!! HOW DOES SHE KNOW?! Y'ALL ARE UP HERE TELLIN HER WHAT'S IN MY ACCOUNT!
Me: Sir, we don't have a way of knowing how she knows what's in your account. To have gotten it from us she would have had to verify a social security number and the last deposit made. If she didn't do that, she wouldn't get the balance from us. I'm sorry we can't help you with this.
Eugene's Wife: She does know what's in his account. And if she finds out what's in my account I'm going to be mad!!
Me: Okay, well I wish we could help you with that but we have no way of knowing how she knows. I'm sorry.

Are you off your rocker?! I do not KNOW or CARE that your sister knows your account balance. Yes, Eugene...we stay up here everyday until 4:00pm so that we can be sure your SISTER knows what's in your bank account at all times. Definitely. We're in on a conspiracy with her so she'll know you have $400 in your account. GO AWAY. Please. Take your petty whining somewhere else. Thank you.

Thankfully, my lunch break was around the corner. I left. I came home and decided if one more person yelled at me today - I was going to yell back. I don't care if it was George W. Bush. I was going to yell.

So there's my day. People are so ignorant. SO SO SO IGNORANT. I'm finished ranting now. :)