Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Stupid People Exhaust Me.

How do ya like that title?  It’s a good one, huh? So for several days I planned on posting this story and alas, life got in the way.  Or I got lazy.  But whatever.
Crazy story. 
The other day I’m leaving Walmart.  It was just like any other day.  I hate Walmart and I was already mad that there were only 3 lanes open and I had to stand in the checkout for 20 minutes with a basket full of groceries.  Of course, when I got there the cashier and the previous customer continued their conversation.  I wouldn’t have cared about that in the slightest except the previous customer wouldn’t move from in front of the register.  I like to see my prices as things are scanned in case something scans incorrectly.  At the end of scanning my groceries the total button was pushed and she kept talking.  Something about the judge taking her baby from her and how she was fighting it.  Whatever.  I inched my cart forward and it didn’t phase her.  I said “excuse me” with no luck…twice.  Finally, I “accidentlybumped her with my cart.  She got the hint. Oops.
Derailed from my original tangent.  Back to the story.  Sorry. 
Okay, so I’m on my way home – already unhappy with my experience from before.  Here we go down the highway.  Stoplights every few feet, right?  Busy highway in the middle of the afternoon. Get what I’m sayin’?
The car in front of me is swerving all. over. the. place.  I was honestly thinking, “Who is THAT drunk at 3pm?!” So naturally, I decide to go around and pass them.  As I’m coming up on the side of them, I see why there is so much swerving goin’ on. 
There was a woman and man in the front two seats.  They looked….rough, to put it nicely.  They were cat fighting.  Really, truly, cat fighting.  It looked like two pre-teen girls slapping at each other with their hands, pulling hair and whatnot. Except one was a man. And both of them were full grown and definitely not pre-teens.  I was stunned. 
So here I come to get around them before they hit my car acting like idiots.  Due my previous experience at Walmart, I was already not willing to put up with any extra stupidity.  As I come up beside them, they come ridiculously close to hitting my vehicle.  So I did the natural thing.  I honked.  LoudlyFor a long time
What I’m about to tell you is somewhat funny, and will definitely enlighten you on the type of people I was dealing with.
So I honked.  Instantly, both of them stopped slapping at each other like lunatics, both of them turned my direction, and both of them flipped me the bird at the exact same moment. 
I nearly died. 
If I did nothing else productive that day, I caused unity in one couple.  They banded together and found common ground in their hatred for me at that very moment. 
I’m sure they went back to fighting moments after I sped past them.  At first I was mad that they flipped me off and I was fighting back my anger.  But the more I thought about it, the funnier it became.  So I decided to share it with you all. 
I guess I’m lucky they didn’t both have guns instead of fingers.  Smile

1 comment:

  1. This. Is. Hilarious. So glad you shared, haha!!