Saturday, August 22, 2009

Negative Nancy vs. Positive Polly

If you're trying to get pregnant or are currently ENJOYING pregnancy (is that possible?) not read this post. It will only discourage you.

Negative Nancy came by my house this morning and we spoke for a while. She's to blame for my sorry attitude today. :)

Seriously - there are a lot of things about pregnancy that no one bothers to tell you until after the fact...when you can't do anything about it. No, I wouldn't change this for the world - but still...where were my friends who've had babies?! Pregnancy...especially towards the disgusting. And if you've never been pregnant, I'm not posting the disgustingness on here for you! I had to find out for myself! Even the books don't do the disgustingness justice. My favorite book that I read was "The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy" by Vicki Iovine (I think it is spelled that way...) and her book gives a pretty good description of the disgustingness, but once you live it in real life - her book doesn't seem to touch it anymore.

And when these disgusting things start happening - you want to run and tell someone because HEY - what the heck was that? Was that normal? Surely not. But rest assured, the more disgusting it was - the more likely it is that it's normal..unfortunately. And really, who can you run and tell these things to? A friend who has been pregnant? She's probably grossed out on the inside because she remembers but doesn't want to imagine that coming from someone she considered a friend. Or maybe her Momnesia has already kicked in and she's back to enjoying the bliss of not remembering the disgustingness. Your husband? Not if you ever want him to look at you the same. If that's even possible after pregnancy.

And the pain? From this point on, I will never look at a pregnant woman and immediately think, "Aww..she's so cute! How sweet!" Instead, I'll think "Bless her poor, sweet heart. She's probably in so much pain right now." The hip and pelvic pain, the stupid contractions that hurt like spitfire but aren't doing anything, the sleepless nights because of said contractions OR general uncomfortableness, and to be honest, the belly itself is so heavy that even it hurts.

Oh for the poor, poor women who go past their due dates. I PRAY that I'm not one of them. I can't even imagine how much more miserable this can get. MISERY...I thought I felt that in the beginning of the 3rd trimester...HA!!!!! If that was misery - this is total torture. God did say he would increase labor pains and child bearing for women thanks to Eve. Really, God stuck it to the women and farmers. Weeds for the farmers, pain for the women. Judd and I are screwed.

My birthday is tomorrow - what do I want? My baby. I want her in my arms instead of my belly. I want the pain to end. (Disclaimer: I only want her if she's healthy. Do not misunderstand me. If she still needs time to cook, obviously, I'll do whatever I have to do to accomplish that...but by golly...if she's ready - come on!) I want to see the sweet face from the 3D ultrasound in REAL life. I want to touch her cute little foot from the outside instead of feeling it from the inside. I want to start losing weight. Yes, vain - I know. I want to know if she has hair. I want to hold her close to me and cherish those "newborn" moments that I'll never get back - no matter how exhausting. I want to make home videos that she'll watch when she's older. And take TONS of pictures. I want to remove every other picture in my house so the frames only hold her sweet face (although my nephews might get to stay...) So - in honor of my birthday, let's get this ball rolling a little faster, okay Caroline? Sound good to you?

Positive Polly doesn't seem to be anywhere around. If you see her, send her to my house. Negative Nancy doesn't seem to be leaving. I think she's settin up shop on my couch.

1 comment:

  1. Just remember it will all be worth it in the end... of course this is coming from someone who has never experienced it before, so it's easy for me to say that ;)
    Happy Birthday!!!